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September 5, 2009
Taking your stressed pet to the veterinarian can be challenging; adding children to the visit can be stressful for everyone: child, pet, vet, and you. Though it’s easier to leave children at home, think about a visit to the vet as an opportunity to teach your children the skill of being proactive about health.
First, pick a child-friendly vet who will respond to your child’s questions and comments. Not all vets want this as part of their practice, so ask before you sign on as a client. Also, gauge your child’s readiness to hear and accept what will happen during a visit. Even a small child can attend a routine vet exam, if you can explain to him that the vet has a stethoscope and shots just like at his doctor. However, it may not be appropriate to have a child younger than teens in on the veterinarian’s part of saying good-bye to a pet.
For young children, ask what they think will happen with the vet. Ask if there is anything they would like explained, anything that is scary, or anything they would like to say to the doctor. Help your children write down these thoughts and then help them talk with your vet during the visit. Before you go, have your children choose a favorite toy of your pet’s to bring along.
Most veterinarians will not allow anyone other than staff to handle a pet during an exam. If your child is anxious about what is being done and wants to comfort your pet, tell her how much you love that she cares and ask her to take care of the special toy she has chosen. She can return it to your pet when the procedure is finished.
Allow your child to ask questions or voice concerns throughout the visit. If it starts to seem like too much, you and your child can step out of the exam room, or ask that any shots be given, or blood be drawn in the back room.
For older children, you can ask them to do an Internet search on what will take place at the vet. Both routine visits and specialty visits are widely covered on many websites, including The Association of Veterinary Medicine (www.avma.org). This is excellent practice for teaching children to be proactive and get informed about their own health and care.
When it is time to say good-bye to a pet, involve your young children in the emotional preparation, but leave out the veterinary visit. Plan a last day helping your children recognize what their pet likes and how they can make their own memories good ones. Whether you have a home-visit from a vet or take your pet to your vet’s office, if your older children are interested, be very careful to involve them only to the degree you are sure they accept what they will see. A pet that is gone does not look like he is just sleeping, so most children will do better with final memories of a living pet.
Once your pet is gone, acknowledge the absence and let children draw pictures or write stories expressing their grief. Craft activities like memory books or treasure boxes with mementos can also help to save the good feelings and get past the loss. There are a few free pet memorial websites that can help your family express and share feelings and good memories.
There is much for a child to learn from the vet visit, because when children discover pets, they discover themselves.
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