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November 26, 2007
In a dog’s world, children rock! For dogs, kids are the mother lode of prizes: food left unattended, messy floors around chairs, messy faces that can’t escape sloppy kisses, and the reward of uncontrollable giggles even when the dog knows he’s breaking the rules. Many parents get frustrated with this anything-goes relationship, particularly when it causes tears or out-of-control play.
The solution can seem obvious at first: teach your child to manage the family dog’s behavior with the same commands and boundaries used by adults. But that rarely works. From the dog’s perspective, children do not have the authority. Even when children think they have authority, to the dog, children are lower in the pack order and don’t need to be followed. This lack of authority can frustrate children, who will yell or even hit a dog.
While children often lack authority to train a dog, they often make up for it in enthusiasm, so let them try. With adult help, dog training is an excellent way for children to practice authority and also learn valuable relationship skills. Humane dog training can teach children to ask nicely and clearly about what they want, to be fair about what they ask for, and to express appreciation when they get what they want.
Children need practice being fair, kind, appreciative, and compassionate when choosing how to act in a frustrating situation. Training your dog with your child will give you many opportunities to coach your child in all of these skills. You and your dog can reward your child over and over again, making learning a positive experience.
Start by having your child ask your dog to do something your dog already knows. Be ready to repeat your child’s cue in case your dog is confused. Your child should say your dog’s name, ask nicely for the behavior, give your dog a chance to respond, and then reward your dog with a treat, a scratch under the chin, and a lot of verbal praise. “Please” and “thank you” are great bookends to any behavior.
Assume that it will take awhile for your child to develop the skill and timing to say dog cues effectively, and for your dog to accept the child’s authority. If your dog doesn’t respond to your child right away, talk with your child about how sometimes when a relationship changes or is new, that it takes time for everyone to get on track. This may also be a teachable moment about life: to explain that as your child matures, many of his relationships will change. Patience with that process of change is an important life skill.
Your young child may not be able to keep your dog from running out the door or stealing food, but with your guidance, your child will be able to teach your dog to respond to simple requests like “sit” and “shake.” The most important result? Your child will learn how to ask nicely, be patient, and be appreciative.
Imagine your child saying, “Fluffy, kisses please.” Fluffy gives a kiss. “Good Fluffy! Thank you! You are the best Fluffy in the world!” Now read it again and substitute “Mom” for “Fluffy.” Ah, that would be nice.
Dog training can build your child’s positive values, good habits, and life skills. Yes, when kids discover pets, they discover themselves. To get your free coloring sheet of basic dog cues for kids, click here.
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